900 Do-overs

They say our skin regenerates itself every 27 days. For the average person, this translates into approximately 900 complete skin replacements in a lifetime.

Why do I find this interesting?

I don’t, actually.

But I am interested in knowing how often we can shed our emotional skins, how frequently we reinvent ourselves in a single lifetime. As in, how often we decide to get over our childhood traumas, move on from our teenage angst, or recover from our adult misdeeds. How often do we rebound from failed, possibly angry relationships? Can we recover from the death of a loved one, or do we simply muddle along until we’re numb? Do we make a conscious decision to heal, or are there other forces at play?

Do we actually need to recover?

What is recovery, anyway?

clouds daylight dhyamis kleber freedom
Photo by Dhyamis Kleber on Pexels.com

I’ve traditionally believed that most of the benign emotional issues we suffer can be solved with a quick, firm, figurative kick in the ass. An admonition to “put on your big-girl pants and get over it” can sometimes be exactly the impetus we need to walk away from a toxic situation, whether a work environment or personal relationship. I believe we can will ourselves to move on, move forward, shake it off, and come out stronger. I believe we can refuse to allow old skeletons to haunt our inner closet.

But then there are the far deeper wounds, the traumas of abuse, neglect, violence, war, or other circumstances we can’t simply walk away from. Circumstances in which the “get over it” attitude is far easier said than done, where possibly walking away can ultimately do far more damage.

If only we could shed these traumas like we shed our skin. Could we walk away and come out stronger? Can we get 900 do-overs?

I’d like to think we can have as many makeovers and do-overs as we decide to have, and that nothing is permanent, really, unless we make it so. I think eventually, we can find our own inner peace.

What do you think?

Published by

RafifJ

Thinker of thoughts and writer of words. American by birth. Syrian by blood. International by choice.

3 thoughts on “900 Do-overs”

  1. Great post!

    You are right, some things we can get past but I also think it depends on the level of trauma, especially that of experiencing war.

    My mother and her family arrived in Australia in the early 1950s as Displaced Persons from Europe. They never spoke about what they went through and we could never ask questions without resulting in major arguments. Because of this and the fact that with each person that dies, the family history also dies, I don’t really know anything about her family or my mother, prior to them arriving in Australia. Her surviving siblings still won’t talk about that part of their life.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is that everyone deals with trauma in different ways. Some are able to suppress trauma, others simply cannot – maybe it’s also the make-up of the individual?

    I’m sure that people feeling war would love to shed their emotional skin.

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    1. Thank you for your comment. I’m sorry to hear that your family had been displaced, and that they were not able to talk about their experience. That might have given you some closure, no? I know that my cousins who are Syrian refugees are trying to recover in their own ways, so you are absolutely right about the individuality of the recovery process.

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      1. Not closure for me but more closure for them, as they went through the trauma and it’s obviously still affecting them at aged 70-85yrs.

        I would like to know what happened to them and from where my roots are, on that side of the family. I only discovered 9 years’ ago that my mother’s surname on my birth certificate wasn’t her real name, as her family changed their name prior to arriving in Australia. And although some may not find this a big issue, it’s really strange when you believe your family is from one place, then one day you discover a totally different truth. This was through my own research and not my mother/her family offering any information (and created more arguments).

        What is happening in Syria is tragic and the world hasn’t learnt a thing from its history.

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