READER CHALLENGE: If you were to direct a #Covid-19 movie, who would be in it?
We’re sharing our experiences, thoughts, and uncensored opinions during lockdown, quarantine, and self-isolation. For some of us, it’s DAY 72.
Hollywood Takes on Covid-19
Tina F., Fairfax, #Virginia
Disclaimer: I really don’t know anything about the movie industry except that they make way too much money.
But what if I could direct and produce a movie about Covid-19? Would it be serious or funny?
My first instinct would be to make a funny movie, since we could all use a little humor right now. Just imagine it! We could focus on the the shit show we are living here in the US. The screenplay has already been written. All we do is emulate real life, just like Saturday Night Live has done for the past 5 years.
I would recruit Jack Black as the President (I know Alec Baldwin plays an amazing President, but I’m going for a new funny face) and maybe Ben Stiller could be the Vice President.
The comedic version would be the easiest, but what if we make the movie serious? Then I would ensure that all the characters are played by actors that are soothing to the eye. For example, Matthew McConaughey, Brad Pitt, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Ryan Gosling for a start. I would add two others just for me… my all-time bad-boy heartthrobs Johnny Depp and Benicio del Toro.
Actually, throw in a few leading actresses and that version would be a sexy, serious movie worthy of all the Hollywood melodrama. However, it would be way too expensive to produce because the audience would expect amazing effects and Hollywood glamor, but the good thing is we can set it up for a sequel.
No, I don’t think I want that version either. The really serious movie would be played by a cast of women. I would focus on the strong female leaders who have successfully guided their countries through this pandemic. I would pick seasoned actresses such as Meryl Streep, Emma Thompson, Helen Mirren, Frances McDormand, and Glenn Close. Their characters would be believable and accomplished. And since this is my movie, I may pretend that one of those leaders was the president of the US. We would create a scenario of how our strong female President united the country. She spoke eloquently as she took charge of the situation and nipped the outbreak in the bud within the first month.
Yes! I like that version of my movie!
Charlie, Metro #Washington, DC
If I were making a movie about Covid-19, Anthony Hopkins would play New York’s Governor Andrew Cuomo. You might say Hopkins is a bit old to be playing Cuomo. But he certainly can project the nasty image I’m looking for. The focus: Who is the real Gov. Cuomo? Is it the man who gives concise, reasoned press conferences each day to update the good folks of the nation about New York’s Covid-19 status? Is he the governor who successfully skates with hot blades on thin ice when dealing with President Donald Trump? Or is the real Gov. Andrew Cuomo the governor who doesn’t want to include the deaths by coronavirus of the elderly in nursing homes in his state’s Covid-19 death count? In his world, the elderly shouldn’t exist in this tragedy. They’re just old people his state has housed in ill-run facilities where underpaid staff were left with virtually no government support to help these poor souls die a terrible death with him and the state not giving a damn.
I believe a nation should be judged by how it treats its children and its elderly. That’s why I would call my movie Darth Cuomo, his state abandoned the elderly in their nursing homes and considered them so unimportant their deaths ranked no higher than raccoon roadkill.
Total Recall 2020
RJD, #Beirut, #Lebanon
Ahnold will walk into the ER of a Los Angeles hospital carrying 5 people on his shoulders and will say with all his might that these people need to be treated for Covid-19. Then he walks out to rescue more people. He doesn’t wear a mask or gloves, of course.
The lighting is red and everything is somber and he is the only one on the dark, silent streets.
My vision of a Covid-19 movie will start with this scene, but will slowly change with the light of a new dawn where people are out on beaches sunbathing and swimming until…they start falling…and who will come to rescue them? Ahnold!
Not really…that’s what Hollywood will probably produce for the Covidiots who like this kind of mindless entertainment. But what should Hollywood focus on?
Going back to the ER, Hollywood should spotlight the doctors, nurses, and first responders (George Clooney, Ellen Pompeo, Luis Guzmán as part of the cast) who spend endless days and nights managing their patients, their sanity, not being with their families, seeing constant fatal cases, unable to stop the outbreak with little or no support from Washington.
Hollywood should show us how they survived this current ordeal and have the stories be about them: their dedication, fears, trials and tribulations, and about how they have been honored by an actual President with higher pay scales than football players, movie stars, and politicians.
The actual real-life movies and series should give us a glimpse into what actually happened so we learn from our current BIG HUGE mistakes. We need to have a stronger healthcare system with medical care for all, be they citizens, residents, or immigrants. People are people and whomever they are, they should be the ones benefitting from the system and portrayed in big-budget movies and television series.
Ending the Clusterfuck
RafifJ, #Malaga, #Spain
My movie is a basic dramatic re-enactment of the pandemic and how it was bungled by the United States government. The finale, though, involves bringing criminals to justice.
The plot, developed in collaboration with Shonda Rhimes, is simple. Viola Davis, tireless justice-seeker and investigator extraordinaire, uncovers the truth about the real numbers of Coronavirus victims in America. Working with women scientists (Susan Sarandon and Eva Longoria) in a secret lab, she discovers that the 100,000 (and counting) deaths in America could have been avoided had those in power taken quick and decisive action back when like 2 people had it. In the course of her work, Viola helps other nations uncover their own truths. Her team of researchers, including those played by Robert De Niro and George Takei, exposes the senators and other public officials who made shit-tons of money through insider trading and illegal small business loans.
What thriller is complete without a kidnapping or two? Enter Liam Neeson, who with colleagues Matt Damon and Kerry Washington, frequently saves the day AND those who were kidnapped. Best of all, they find the damning evidence that the president of the United States knew what the virus could do and how many it could kill, and did nothing to stop it.
At the end of the movie, Donald Trump – played by Danny DeVito – is prosecuted for negligent homicide. The jury includes some of the president’s “favorite” people: Hillary Clinton, Ashley Judd, Shakira, Alyssa Milano, Mickey Rourke, and Matt Damon.
The judge: Barack Obama.
Life in prison. Public humiliation. Trounced by Obama. Justice served.
If SNL Was a Movie
Wayne Wallace, McLean, Virginia
If I were to direct a Covid-19 movie, I would most likely focus on the comical bungling of the current administration. Which pretty much limits the actors to Alec Baldwin and Kate McKinnon. Baldwin’s parodies of Trump are spot-on. Though now the reality has been even more ridiculous than the spoofed version. And Kate McKinnon’s impersonations of so many in the White House have been not only hilarious, but enlightening.
Assuming this movie is made after the Coronavirus crisis has passed and we’ve had time to reflect on the enormity of the tragedy, it might be time for a more lighthearted look at the events of the last few months. It will be a challenge for Alec Baldwin to outdo the insanity of “perhaps we can inject disinfectant.” And perhaps he can consult with Jon Lovitz to perfect the unique way of lying so obviously with a straight face.
Kate McKinnon has shown such versatility in recreating members of the administration. Perhaps she can play Dr. Birx as she tries to not show her disgust and discomfort with the things her boss is saying. Or any of a host of characters from who have invaded our TV screens the last few months.
And of course, Brad Pitt will play Dr. Fauci.
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